Shit lah. My life is bloody screwed. Especially today.
I can't believe it. I failed french. AGAIN. and the ironic thing is that i bet with cao yun that if i pass, i'll quit. and i failed. cao yun reckons its fate that i stay on in french. Therefore i have decided.
This year (and last) i've been damn slack. thus the poor results. and this is my fault. and the worst part of this darn mess is that i was very very confident. over confident. cos i thought in the french class, i was good. and when it came to the test, i failed. again. i was among the bottom. and guess what. i was hoping, expectingthat i'd be among the top. very ego. so when the results came, the fall was very long. at first it wasn't sadness. just shock. i stared at the mark, counted over and over, and it still added up. i failed. 37.5/80. i came below those i thought i could beat. and why? cos i was too egoistic. and i didn't cry. i sat there dry-eyed in shock. then reality sank in. but i still couldn't cry. i wanted to let out the agony, but it remained bottled inside. though i seemed nonchalant on the outside, inside i was sobbing.

so i should work harder. if its fate that i remain in french, i should stick to it. and my parents are right. i am wayyyy too slack. my mum even says she's going to draw me a timetable, cos i play too much. and i agree. though she hasn't done this since p4. and the most cutting thing that brought me back down to earth was what my dad said. he didn't scold, but the cold, sheer disappointment in his voice was worse. "I think you're becoming a hopper." his expectations were high. he knew i could do better. but i ruined it all.
and its not just french. i have decided to work harder for all my subjects. instead of playing goof in class. like the 1st chem quiz. i totally screwed it up. im sure its gonna b another red mark on the report. and why? cos i din study it. once again, i convinced myself i knew enough. but i didn't. and i only realised at the quiz itself. but its too late.
this shall serve as a motvational speech for me. i shall work harder.

and tomorrow is alicia's party. when i told my dad his face fell. cos it adds on to the playing too much. but heck i promised. and i realised, 15 mins ago, that i have guitar lesson at 7. so i shall have to come late. and make zexin late at the process. after all, im blur and forgetful.

On a brighter note, yesterday NYCO got Gold with Honours! =DDDDDDD well done everyone!! congrats =))) NYCO rocks!

Jiayou!!